When my young kids start fighting, the first thing I do is try to stay calm. It can be incredibly frustrating to hear them bickering, but I know that if I lose my temper, it will only escalate the situation. I take a deep breath and step in between them, making sure they are both safe and not physically hurting each other. I gently separate them, if necessary, and get down to their level to speak with them in a calm and firm voice.
Next, I ask each child to tell me their side of the story. It’s important for them to feel heard and understood, so I listen carefully without interrupting. I encourage them to use “I” statements to express their feelings, such as “I felt upset when you took my toy.” This helps them articulate their emotions and understand how their actions affect others. Once both sides have been heard, I help them find a compromise or solution that they both agree on. Sometimes, this means taking turns or finding a new activity that they can do together.
Finally, I make sure to follow up with them afterward. I praise them for using their words and finding a solution, reinforcing positive behavior. I also take a moment to discuss what they can do differently next time to avoid similar conflicts. Teaching them problem-solving skills and how to handle disagreements respectfully is crucial. It’s not always easy, and there are times when they might need more guidance, but with patience and consistency, they can learn to resolve conflicts on their own.